Conversations with a bro: animated edition

2009 November 29
by Alan Aragon

 AARR subscriber David Miklas created this endearing video series over the Thanksgiving weekend. Apparently the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and pumpkin pie put him in good spirits. Note the gestures, note the comic timing. The fact that I’m talking to a jock just kills me, as does my radical tan. Many of the quotes take me down memory lane, since they were plucked from the glory days of schooling the bros on the message boards. Warning: this series is best watched under the influence of holiday cheer…enjoy.


RECENT UPDATE: David once again shows his video editing and scriptwriting mastery in the lastest 2 intallments above. Speaking of Anaconda, check out JC Deen’s no-BS article on the overhyped product.

68 Responses
  1. Arthur Lange permalink
    November 29, 2009


    Even with all of the tongue-in-cheek remarks in those videos, I can’t help but think that this should be mandatory viewing for anyone who sets foot in a gym. Plenty of laughs and plenty of quality tidbits all rolled into one.

  2. Lyn permalink
    November 30, 2009

    Where can I get some of those paleo cream puffs?

  3. November 30, 2009

    Arthur – yeah, I was pretty shocked when I ran into this at David did an amazing job with the set-up dialogue & questions.

    Lyn – Dig deep. Your inner cream puff awaits.

  4. scott permalink
    November 30, 2009

    Classic work lol. I agree with arthur that these should be required viewing for all.

  5. November 30, 2009

    Freaking hilarious!

    “But I really want my body to take in only clean foods.”

    “Wash them.”

  6. Guest permalink
    November 30, 2009

    Anyway I can get a transcript of this? I can’t stand the robot voice =/

  7. Myles permalink
    November 30, 2009

    Too Funny.

    “Mother Nature winces every time a yolk hits the wastebasket”

  8. Cesar permalink
    November 30, 2009


    Funny video!

    I just heard your podcast interview on In the Trenches. Loved your n0-nonsense approach to cutting through some of the marketed fitness info that’s out there for the consumer. I liked your talk about the quality of foods for those trying to put on weight. Good job. Are you on Twitter? I’d definitely follow your content there, as well. I added your RSS into my news reader. Thanks!

  9. November 30, 2009

    Cesar – I’m not on Twitter (to my mistake, so I hear). Glad you like the material, thanks for subbing.

    Guest – No transcript of this, sorry. I will tell you though, a big part of the humor is the deadpan vocals.

    All – Thanks for the feedback.

  10. Eric permalink
    November 30, 2009

    Ha, what if I mix the peppered horsesh*t with the sugar post workout, would that work.

    That was great!

  11. December 1, 2009

    Counting beers and carbs makes you a certified tardinski.

    I think I just peed out all of my BCAA supplements when I heard that. Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

  12. December 1, 2009

    Alan, I’m buying you Anaconda for Christmas.

  13. David Miklas permalink
    December 1, 2009

    Glad this is being enjoyed. The program has limitations and some audio just doesn’t sound 100% right. I am kind of a perfectionist. In fact, the transcripts would be worthless because I had to phonetically adjust some words so they sounded right when the computer read them. I purposely let the bro mispronounce fructose, but I had to actually type “fruit toes” every time I made Alan say the word so that it sounded proper. Also, depending on where “BCAA” fell in the sentence, the audio completely blew that one, so that is why I had to write it out most of the time. Also, the hand gestures limited me. I only had so many to work with, otherwise I would have been even more creative. IMO the hardest part was trying to keep Alan’s responses short. If you go back and read his comment on most boards, they are either Socratic style questions, or they are packed with citations to research. I had to cherry-pick the stuff that flowed best, and I was always wondering how this would be received. The beginning of the first video has heavy sarcasm that newbies may completely miss, but I tried to keep some nuggets in there for everyone. I snuck in the “dat-der-cell-tech” because it always cracks me up.

  14. Lyn permalink
    December 1, 2009

    This was brilliant– thanks for putting it up. I especially liked the “catatonic’ joke, but it was all terrific.

    You need to do a follow up about the an-a-con-da bro-to-col.


  15. Daniel permalink
    December 1, 2009

    Brilliant, it was like you were here. 🙂

  16. ShootItalia permalink
    December 2, 2009

    Alan, can you expand on the paleo fad? I`ve never been convinced by the simplistic reasoning behind it. What`s your take on it?

  17. December 2, 2009

    ShootItalia – The Paleo diet (in its popular incarnations) is a healthy diet. However, the justifications for excluding certain foods are based more on speculation than controlled evidence. There’s more to this, as you can imagine. But yeah, there are worse roads to travel than the Paleo road. It’s a good “junk food reduction for dummies” diet. But at the same time, Paleo dieting is riddled with assumptions and folklore.

  18. Mike S permalink
    December 3, 2009

    Alan, A question and a statement. With all do respect of course.

    1) Arnt you looking to spike insulin levels PWO? If so, what is the problem with BCAA’s inducing insulin spike? Im a little confused on this?

    2) In regards to the milk thing. I advise anyone that is looking to be healthy to stay away from milk, yet i drink ATLEAST 3/4 gallon a day of skim milk. Im not lactose intolerant at all. it dosnt give me gas or upset stomach, nothing. The reason I think the milk we drink today that you get in the average super market is unhealthy, in short, is this:

    rbGH (that supposedly raises the natural IGF-1 up to 75%)
    All the other hormones
    and allergens.

    Again, I drink a ton of milk. Then again, I indulge in McD`s every now and again as well but just because I consume it doesn’t mean Im going to go around telling people its healthy. Dont get me wrong, I wish someone could show my scientifically that milk is healthy but im doubting that it can be.

    P.s. Thank you for missing out on a lot of poontang in your prime to study. I really enjoy reading what you put out.

  19. December 3, 2009

    Hey Mike,

    1) No need to try to spike insulin postworkout, especially if you’ve had a preworkout meal or shake, which typically elevates insulin beyond thresholds seen to cause a maximal nutrient-mediated anabolic effect. And insulinogenesis via BCAA isn’t a bad thing. The comment was made in reference to the irony of people being afraid of insulin elevations yet not realizing that dosing up on AAs is insulinogenic.

    2) There’s not enough evidence to place the indictment stamp on milk as “unhealthy”. If someone’s allergic to it, too bad, can’t drink it. Life goes on. As for the hormones, it’s much ado about nothing much – particularly for folks who consume milk in moderation. The current evidence is still incomplete, and more human study is needed in this area. But as it stands, it’s not likely that the hormone content in cow’s milk absorbed intact by humans would yield biologically significant effects.

  20. December 3, 2009

    Nice job. I will probably plug in my next newsletter.

    On another note, insulin levels barely exceeding basal measurements decrease protein degradation, and as far as insulin spikes needed to increase protein synthesis- this is fallacy. Insulin levels within normal ranges do not increase protein synthesis

    Research says

    -Cuthbertson et. al. 2004, found it appears be possible to stimulate muscle protein synthesis by supplying exogenous amino acids alone while maintaining basal blood insulin concentration at the overnight fasted level

    -Greenhaff et. .al 2005, reported if amino acids in amounts capable of producing a maximal response in protein synthesis are ingested, adding further insulin has no further stimulatory effect on PS

    -Rennie 2005, reports muscle protein synthesis is also independent of increases in GH or IGF-1

    jamie hale

  21. December 3, 2009

    Sorry, I shoud have said

    Insulin levels within normal ranges do not increase protein synthesis
    in humans

    jamie hale

  22. December 3, 2009

    More on placebo

    Placebo effect. Very informative, scientific look at what happens.

    Penn and Teller Placebo Effect

    Coach Hale

  23. December 4, 2009

    “My credentials mainly serve as proof that I studied a lot, and that I missed out on a lot of poontang in my prime years.”

    My computer screen thanks you for being covered in water.

  24. December 5, 2009

    omgod, I don’t know how I missed this but I am rolling. This is the best youtube I have ever watched on all teh internetz. I LOVE YOU ALAN ARAGON

    raise a salute to cows TEEETS!

  25. December 5, 2009


  26. Jon Fernandes permalink
    December 5, 2009

    This video is awesome.

  27. December 6, 2009

    Placebo effects of caffeine on cycling performance.

    The supplement industry should thank the placebo effect for a large portion of their success. In everyday quasi-experiments, used to measure performance and feelings of well-being that lack the blinding procedure it is impossible to say whether the outcome was due to placebo. If you are aware of the treatment you have an expectation, whether good or bad, your perception alters the results. I have heard so many people say they just know the supplement works, their stronger, feel better etc… and it’s not placebo. In reality, who knows if it’s placebo and who cares if your feeling and performing better.

    Coach Hale

  28. December 6, 2009

    I love the fact that you have a blog now Alan. Leigh Peele had a link to your blog. I can’t thank you enough for the time and energy you take to put your info together for fellow coaches and fitness minded people.

    I can’t wait to read your book either.

    Take it easy and look forward to learning from you


  29. mike bishoff permalink
    December 7, 2009


    Could you try to explain a little about nutrient partitioning and/or carb cylcling. I am trying to gain muscle with a diet slightly above maintanence. I havnt been worrying about carb numbers too much but after reading a little about nutrient partitioning, refeeding, im thinking i may need to start changing things up. From what i have understood and read, our muscles and fat cells absorb calories. Sometimes our excess calories go toward fat storage and some toward muscle (lyle mcodonald). Do we have any control of this? Something about insulin sensitivity?… i didnt quite get

    Does carb cycling have anything to do with calorie partitioning? I dont completely understand it but would like to learn more. SHould i not worry about carb numbers and types of carbs in a calorie surplus?

  30. Mike L. permalink
    December 7, 2009

    Alan –

    Saw this on another forum:

    “If anyone dosnt know who Alan Aragon is, he is pretty big in the MMA world in regards to nutrition and exercise.”

    Are you working with fighters now? Major props if you’re the one who convinced Machida to drink his own urine =).


  31. December 8, 2009

    Hey guys,

    I finished AARR yesterday, was burning the midnight oil for a stretch prior to that. Gotta get caught up with client work & I’ll get to your Qs, probably some time tonight.

    Light weight, baby.

  32. December 9, 2009


  33. Guest permalink
    December 9, 2009

    These videos were hilarious. Thanks to the creator for taking the time to make them.

  34. December 10, 2009

    Hey Alan,

    I thought you were working on your biceps? That video tells me you need to do some more X reps or something like that.


  35. David Miklas permalink
    December 10, 2009

    Okay, I decided against my better judgment and created a new one. As Lyn, suggested, I used Alan’s recent Anaconda piece as the subject for the new animation. Also, I worked in bro-to-col. I also worked in a plug for the AARR.

  36. December 10, 2009

    Anaconda Protocol= Supra Stupidity

    How about jellybeans for insulin spike, they rate very high on insulin index.

    jamie hale

  37. December 10, 2009

    Yea, I am really beginning to wonder how long it will be until they either fade it out altogether or make some serious changes to said Protocol(tm)

  38. Lyn permalink
    December 10, 2009

    This made my day, David!

  39. Slim Charles permalink
    December 10, 2009

    Alan, real quick question.

    At 12% bf would you rather bulk or cut to 10% or lower and then bulk?

    Thanks, keep bashing Tnation.

  40. December 10, 2009

    Slim — The answer to whether one should bulk or cut – regardless of current bodycomp – is 100% personal preference. I’ll reiterate, it’s 100% up to the individual. Set your own standard of when you should bulk or cut. For some people cutting is detetmined by whether or not they’ll take their shirt off in public (or with the lights on), while with others it’s determined by whether or not their gut touches the steering when driving. Yet for others, a 4-pack is just cause for tightening back to a 6-pack…it’s that individual of a decision. Take some time to think it through, pick a focus, and go for it.

    David — love it!

    Skyler — I’m cutting, bro. 10″ biceps are justified on a cut.

    Mike L — I’m far from the MMA guy. While it’s my favorite sport, and I have worked with my share of amateur talent, I’d defer to Jamie Hale’s vast experience on matters of MMA.

    Mike B — I think you’re overthinking things unless you’re very far along in your progress towards your goal. How close or far from your goal are you? I’m asking this because my answers always depend on the individual situation.

    All — Make sure you stay hardcore. Make sure you properly load your GI tract with the right amount of workout cocktail. As soon as things start leaking out one end, or the other (or both), you know you’re topped-out, and you KNOW you’re hardcore.

  41. sameer permalink
    December 13, 2009


    Can I get your book through some other means as I don’t have paypal or Visa?

  42. December 15, 2009

    Sameer – just saw this, glad you got it taken care of.

  43. Peter permalink
    January 20, 2010

    “They are dirty because they have the sugars.” I cannot stop myself from laughing everytime I hear that.

  44. devon lyon permalink
    January 25, 2010

    Amazing video Al! I almost pee’d myself. Everyone and anyone serious about gaining LBM or loosing bodyfat should be fed this video.

  45. January 28, 2010

    Thanks guys.

    I agree that the “sugars” bit is a rare moment of comic genius.

  46. Frameless permalink
    February 14, 2010

    “and don’t compare chocolate milk to Surge again…” ROFL 😀

  47. Gaea permalink
    February 27, 2010

    Loved the conversations with a bro. Here’s probably the most honest reply to the question, “how do I get jacked”. Wait for it, it’s at the end of the video.


  48. February 27, 2010

    My fave from the bros at Elite:

  49. Marlena permalink
    September 16, 2010


    I can honestly say I am thrilled you responded to me on JC’s blog (even if it was a little embarrassing). I believe I was meant to find your webpage. This is great stuff – a lot of useful information with bunches of fun thrown in. I can’t wait to dig in.

    Although, as I said, I am far from being a scientist, and all of this info and testosterone can be a little heady at times, I am excited to see what new (to me anyway) information I can learn and share with others.

    The mother.

  50. September 25, 2010

    Just saw this for the first time, laughed my ass off. Great work as always AA.

  51. Michal Palczewski permalink
    May 18, 2011

    Perhaps my internet skills are lacking, but it is much easier to find Alan being down on someone else then actually prescribing anything. That is especially true in these videos.

  52. JLB permalink
    May 18, 2011


    One of the big services Alan provides to the public is freeing them from a piles of unnecessary crap they think they need to go through in order to reach their goals. If you think he never recommends anything specific, I’m going to guess that you don’t have his book, haven’t read his many free articles (which almost always give specific rec’s at the end), and are not subscribed to his research review. It’s not your internet skills that are lacking, it’s your laziness that’s holding you back from actually reading Alan’s material.

  53. Michal permalink
    May 25, 2011

    It has more to do with the extraordinary price of his book and the lack of any links to general guidelines on his front page.

    I bought Tom Venuto’s body fat solution for $10 on amazon.

  54. January 19, 2012

    Very funny, and a novel method of info delivery. Your vids excellently highlight the folly of much overly micromanaged dieting.

    However, I don’t have enough knowledge of the Paleo diet to have strong opinions about it. Looking at Wikipedia it states that the Paleo Diet avoids grains and dairy products. This does surprise me as Europeans have probably drunk cows milk for tens of thousands of years, which is why their enzyme for digesting lactose never deactivates. Also, people have been eating grains since the harvesting of wheat and other grains in the Fertile Crescent (N. Arabia) about 11,000 years ago. Would our bodies not have caught up since this time, albeit at an evolutionary pace?

    Also, on the subject of clean eating, surely this just means stick to whole natural foods whenever possible, avoiding very processed foods. Putting bodybuilding aside, and just looking at general good health – Is this not preferable?

  55. July 9, 2012

    Ahahaha this is extremely amusing.

    I dig the comparison of drinking cow milk to eating cow meat. Really interesting way of reframing that anti-milk argument.

  56. March 21, 2015

    A brotastic conversation from back in the day that I stumbled across recently while googling around to dig up some old specific posts I was after of mine in the den of insanity also known as the Religion and Politics section.

    The above “thrad” was started by Alan Aragon, asking a noob questions (because as we all know, he knows how to admit when he doesnt know something, and ask the community for help)

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