Fatherhood & Freedom
Reflecting upon the path
Memorial Day, the unofficial start of Summer, elicits a lot of reflection upon the path I’ve walked and the path I’m creating. Undoubtedly, it makes me thankful to those who made the freedom I enjoy possible. The picture above was taken yesterday after church; that’s my 3 year-old (going on 13) son. In reviewing the pics within the small format of the camera, I initially mistook him for my 6 year-old, since I normally think of him as the baby, but apparently, that perception is already disappearing. Time seems to accelerate with each passing year. I’d like to quote Arnold Schwarzenegger recalling a particularly hectic time in his life (1975) right after he filmed Stay Hungry and was in the midst of filming Pumping Iron:
“What it came down to was this: You have 24 hours in a day, and you have so many years to reach your dreams. I utilized the 24 hours more than anyone I know. You snooze, you loose. So what are you gonna do?”
Our time is limited, but do we really get that?
Fatherhood has been one big wake-up call for me. Before the kids hit the deck, the passage of time was a slow-to-nonexistent grind. However, seeing my kids grow and change on almost a daily basis reminds me that time is whizzing by whether we like it or not, and squandering the time we’re given is downright criminal. You might recall from the career series that I’ve cut my in-person client days at the office down to 2 per week, and work from home the rest of the week.
Some of you may have also noticed that I’ve had to resort to putting prospective clients on a 2-month waiting list to work with me. This is great in the sense that my expertise is in demand, but at the same time, I can’t help but feel bad for those who I’ve had to put on hold. But alas, managing my time is an ongoing learning process, and an art that might take me forever to master. During my lifetime, I want to be able to look back and be satisfied with the amount (& quality) of time I put into being the best dad I could. This, among other things, involves being physically & mentally present when hanging out with the kids. And yes, it also involves putting the brakes on how much work I think I’m able to do each day without disrupting the balance in my work & family life. Controlling the quantity of my work will also inevitably improve the quality of it. And that’s really what matters.
For those of you who aren’t parents
I know that for me, my kids are really the ‘hourglass’ that lights the fire under my feet to wring the most out of my time on this planet. For those of you who do not have kids (or don’t plan to), let me suggest you find your own metaphoric hourglass that reminds you that the clock is ticking away relentlessly. This is also the perfect time to remember that our forefathers have shed much blood, sweat, and tears to allow us the freedom to be the architects of our own lives and accomplish great things. So, let me encourage you all to get out there and do more stuff that matters and less stuff that doesn’t.